A memory prompt written for “Creative Clusterfuck,” a memoir-focused writing seminar taught by the legendary Molly Guy.
When I fantasize about what my life could look like I feel completely calm for a split second. I imagine waking up in Malibu and walking out onto my porch that surrounds the entire house which looks over a private beach. My neighbors are Ellen DeGeneres and Emma Stone, respectively. Every morning I’ll look out onto the ocean while my husband, Timothée Chalamet, watches me from bed. He speaks French to me and our little babies who look just like him and we vacation dans le sud du France chaque année. His parents love me as if I’m their own and I don’t feel dependent on my family anymore because I’m an adult and I’ve created a beautiful life of my own.
Time is balanced healthily between work and being together. From time to time, Timothée will surprise me with a private jet to Bali and I’ll be all “Babe, I’m so surprised! I thought you were filming a movie in North Dakota” then he’ll say, “We wrapped early and I missed you so much, I couldn’t even remember my lines.” That movie will win an Oscar the following year and cameras will swarm me while I strike perfect poses on the red carpet in a pink tulle gown made by Giambattista Valli that looks eerily similar to the one Kacey Musgraves wore to the event this year. During the show they’ll pan to me, making every viewer jealous of how stunning I look and that I get to go home with sweet Timothée every night. And we’ll actually go home together. It won’t be one of those Hollywood romances like Brad ditching Angelina at the end of the night and everyone whispering about how their marriage has been falling apart for years. No, not us. We have zero arguments and will die together holding hands! Just as in love as our wedding day!